Vision I feel that the commitment that was obviously put into this piece was beautifully done and well worth it. However, when I like at this and then I look at the stencil you chose I don't see many resemblances. But the idea is there and it definitely creates a different way to write.
Originality Although I have read many pieces of work that are about the military and the money we spend on the weapons for it, I feel that you put a spin on it. You bring up many interesting points that I have not even thought of.
Technique I feel that the rhyming done in this piece is flawless and they work themselves in so deep that they fit so perfectly. However, I think you may have gone to far with the stencil and it makes it rather hard to read (maybe that was your point?). With some people that would make them want to read it more carefully to see what it says but with others it would put them off completely.
Impact The repetition of 'there's an obvious race to be won' is an incredible line and has stuck to me to this day and will for a lot longer. The way it is repeated makes it stick in your mind and enhances the impact more than if you had just said it at the end or at the beginning
OVERALL, AN AMAZING PIECE OF WORK THAT IS A DEFINITE FAVOURITE AND YOU AS A DEVIANT WILL BE WATCHED VERY CLOSELY FROM NOW ON
Sta.sh
I feel that the commitment that was obviously put into this piece was beautifully done and well worth it. However, when I like at this and then I look at the stencil you chose I don't see many resemblances. But the idea is there and it definitely creates a different way to write.
Originality
Although I have read many pieces of work that are about the military and the money we spend on the weapons for it, I feel that you put a spin on it. You bring up many interesting points that I have not even thought of.
Technique
I feel that the rhyming done in this piece is flawless and they work themselves in so deep that they fit so perfectly. However, I think you may have gone to far with the stencil and it makes it rather hard to read (maybe that was your point?). With some people that would make them want to read it more carefully to see what it says but with others it would put them off completely.
Impact
The repetition of 'there's an obvious race to be won' is an incredible line and has stuck to me to this day and will for a lot longer. The way it is repeated makes it stick in your mind and enhances the impact more than if you had just said it at the end or at the beginning
OVERALL, AN AMAZING PIECE OF WORK THAT IS A DEFINITE FAVOURITE AND YOU AS A DEVIANT WILL BE WATCHED VERY CLOSELY FROM NOW ON
Lunausa